By Tigist Schmidt
Updated: Wednesday, February 4, 2009
New York (Tadias) – “Where are you from?” I am so over it. I am tired of explaining myself over and over again. But what am I supposed to do? Ignore the question? Let them assume?
And once I tell them where I’m from I get responses like: “Oh, really?” “Interesting.” “That’s different. I would have never guessed.” And the list goes on. Now, what can I say to that?
No, not really how the heck am I interesting when you don’t even know me…different from who?”
“Killis, Killis, Killis!” That’s what cheeky children would yell in the rural areas of Ethiopia, pointing their finger at me with great laughter. All I do is smile, too shy to respond in my broken Amharic. When I am introduced to other Ethiopians, the majority are uncertain whether they should speak to me in English or in Amharic. I introduce myself as Tigist and it confuses them more.
“Oh, are you Ethiopian?” they ask with a surprise look. Often it is assumed that I am of a different race and people sometimes talk to me in languages I don’t understand.
Once in London a five year old Ethiopian boy, Yohannes, asked me in his posh British accent:
“Tigist, are you black or are you white?”
“I am grey”, I answered.
I am Ethiopian and German. I was born in the United States. I grew up in Nigeria, Argentina and Germany. When I was sixteen I moved to the United States and later on to the United Kingdom. At the moment I am back in the United States, unsure of where I am going next. But no matter where I go, I always get the same question:
Where are you from?
Where did your parents meet?
Where are they living now?
What languages do you speak?
Where did you grow up?
Basically, I have to give them my life story before I can even ask them a question. Usually it’s just out of genuine curiosity, and in those instances I’m willing to share my story. Sometimes it’s even fun to let them guess where I’m from. Depending on where I am at that very moment, I get the most bizarre answers. I have heard everything but Asian as a guess.
No one has ever reckoned I would be Ethiopian and German. Sometimes I just agree to whatever they say and see how far I can take it. Other times, they are just shocked and look at me saying, “But you look like…” As if I don’t know what I look like.
There is seriously nothing that can shock me anymore. I’ve heard it all before, and take it with humor. I try to use my ambiguity to my advantage. I constantly walk in and out of cultures, capable of fooling, perhaps anyone, at least for a while. It’s not always funny though. There are times when I get real ignorant questions such as:
“Has Ethiopia been colonized by Germans?” or even “Is Ethiopia in Africa?”
Most of my friends refer to me as “My Ethiopian-German friend.”
Once people get to know me, however, they get over the fact that I am Ethiopian and German. But still, they find it really amusing when I have to explain myself to others.
—
About the Author
Tigist Schmidt received her Bachelors in International Relations from San Francisco State University and her Masters from Goldsmiths University of London. She moved from London to Harlem, while finishing up acting school in New York City. She is now back in California.
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We have this similarity in common (and SFSU). I am Nigerian, Indian, and German. I am constantly asked similar questions and I too, depending on their curiosity, take it as far as I can at having them guess, and question who/what I am. Depending on which region I am located in the states, I have a hard time with Americans asking ignorant questions about Nigerians and Indians…Nigerian as in African from Africa or born a slave? Indian from India or Native American Indian? German from Germany from the Nazi era or German descent 4th generation German American? I get it all, and sometimes I can “pass” for white, or at least Hispanic, which I don’t have a “drop” of. Most of the time, my Indian relatives are just as shocked when they are asked how did they adopt this little white girl…now jewish white girl. I’ve found it easier to say that I am Jewish, just to shut them up to stop asking the round-about race/culture questions. I “pass” in the Jewish community for being a Yemenite Jew. I’m not even Jewish. My mother is Nigerian and Indian, which is a common mix in Nigeria and other parts of Africa. My dad just happens to be German. I am female, knowing who I am and what I look like, and where my family comes from, and I don’t have to explain it to anyone. But, hey, since you shared your blog here, i am sharing mine. I say, be free and mix with who you want to mix with, pass when you can, remember and never forget your roots and where you came from, live and be yourself! thanks T.
I appreciate Tadias for publishing the article written by Tigist Schmitt and connecting to the overall importance of ethnic communities recognizing the fact that mixed multiracial peoples have place. Given the increasing racial and ethnic diversity of our nations, it is more important than ever that we fully understand the range of diversity that exists among all of us. A very respectful Pinay Pilipina-Morocan-Russian Woman out of NYC, SarahB.
Tigist – Thanks for sharing your story. As a bi-racial female myself (African-American/French-Canadian), I have heard the gamut of questions about where I am from and what my background is. It always seems people are disappointed when I answer, “I’m from here – I’m African-American.” There is always a twinge of disgust, and I have even had people say, “African- American? But you are so beautiful…” What the hell does that mean? African-Americans are somehow ugly? But the essence here is not that they think there is ugliness on the outside, but there is something inherently wrong with being dark in this country – it’s as if they think it somehow taints your insides. They never believe that I am “just” African-American and they keep prodding until I finally give up and say, “I’m bi-racial… mixed.” There’s always an “Oh! That makes sense,” or “That’s why you have such great skin coloring.” It is interesting to hear that this is international, since I have only really dealt with it in an American context. I have had friends from other countries tell me that it is somehow “different” in the “rest of the world,” but I had my doubts given colonialization. They also were not bi or multiracial (at least in this generation). Hearing your story has been comforting and, in some ways, therapeutic – thank you for sharing.
Hello,
This is to say you are pretty hot. Nice pictures.
Stay in touch
hi tigist
so nice to hear from you, and read your thoughts…
so grateful for joseph bringing it back down to the essentials…
‘where are you from?’
i have a hell of a time answering that question – and it always depends on who is asking how i answer it.
my standard reply is: i was born and raised in london, my parents are from ghana. thank the lord i haven’t had to deal with african slave comments – don’t quite know how i would ansa that.
and tho i know it happens – no one has yet said ‘you are quite pretty…for a black
girl’ – (tho on reflection i’m not sure if that’s positive or negative)
i wrote a play – which definitely needs reworking & revision – but deals with some of these ‘everyday racism’ experiences.
have a look at my blog sometime
and keep strong, stay beautiful, remain talented
peace & kisses
s
You are a beautiful person. People will always have an opinion, whethere it be good or bad. You are a unique individual with many stories to share of your heritage. I am fascinated with the history of your culture. Being different is what makes you stand out in a crowd. An opportune time to make changes in our world and the way people perceive it. Take care Tigist.
Love,
Brook
Oh wow, the woman writes a pretty compelling story and the compliment is about her looks? Come on brother! LOL.
Hey Tigist! it is fascinating the amount of people still attached to racial limits, although I understand the wonder because many people never ever go beyond some miles from where they live and for them is as if a martian comes to you looking as “normal”.As humans we tend to structure things to understand and to feel safe, I guess the next generations will have to open the box about those limits and include a much wider concept about what we are.
Thanks!
Hey Tigist,
Liked to read your story. Nobody ever believes that I am Swedish…
Hey guys i have read your story
the point is i don’t think those question are common in western countries they just living their life and have no idea about the rest of the world they only know what their tv show to them and as we know the media talk bulshit especiall about su sahara countries i get that a lot but it won’t bother me at all
peace with u
mimi
hi tigist,
it was really nice to read your lines. it’s kinda familiar to me; specially in germany! don’t ask me how often i got asked these questions when i grew up in munich and went to kindergarden and school there.
jeremias werner
p.s.
nice pics
Hey Tigist!
Long time no talk sista… : )I appreciated the article…and can see the need of many to be able to categorize and place people and things in nice neat/well-defined boxes as an annoying tendency, on the other hand, things that are beautiful and/or unique have always been at the center of human enquiry. I would also submit that trying to better understand things around us, as part of the human experience, can be a useful means of navigating the world we live in. Of course, the down side is that this is often used to rank and order humanity, placing some over and above others.
In any event, whether bi-racial, short, tall, obese or small, we all have had to deal with these question/issues at some point in our lives.
Hope you are well,
Travis-
Your article was forwarded to me by a friend. I am French/Ethiopian too and could be just about anything in between. Also lived in several countries. I speak/read Amharic and it looks like Ethiopians are always very glad to hear that! lol.
Let me tell you that it is an opportunity to educate people whenever the question of identity comes up. People are used to things being black or white and when they meet you, they are unable to place you in the familiar manner.
I love that opportunity to discuss these things! It is my priviledge to be part of an intelligent dialogue!
You’re a beautiful girl! take care!
Hi Tigist!
I Liked reading your story and you sure do look ethiopian too me =)I’m Eritrean and im CONSTANTLY asked similar questions.People just can’t belive im 100% african cause im light… haha crazyness..they always say, you must be half arab,italian ect especially “foffos” even habesha’s so am feeling you
I think it dosent matter if you black,brown or light african-we should all be accepted as africans =)
One love
Hi Tigist. well….I love your story. I’m a Nigerian who grew up in Sudan half my life. I remember then anytime my family and I went out to a park or the zoo we used to get these funny stares and I used to wonder why. But I found out that we had a different color and most especially thick hair.lol.I used to also get that question “Where are you from?” even here in Nigeria some think I am mixed…I dont understand why…maybe because of my accent or the fact that I can speak colloquial Arabic… cos I do look Nigerian.lol. The point I’m trying to make is that I have friends like you…mixed…both parents either mixed themselves or from different countries and it facinates me. I love your courage to stand out…that’s what makes you unique. Continue to be proud of ur racial mixture…To me, it’s interesting when people ask that question “where are you from?” It makes me feel UNIQUE…that’s what you are girl.masallama!
Selam, Tigist!
I loved reading your story, especially since i just responded to the hot blog about “Are Ethiopians Racist.” No one has ever guessed that I am Italian Ethiopian and Austrian either. And yes, sometimes it is fun to hear what they DO guess (Greek, Iranian, South American…). (I loved what you said about — “But you look like…!” Hilarious and true!) And sometimes I hear folks say things they might never have said if they had known that I was raised as an African American during times of segregation here in the States (like white folks referring to middle easterners as “sand niggers”). I loved it when the great singer Sade was asked by a Rolling Stone magazine interviewer whether she considered herself black or white. In American culture, those were the main choices! Her response was a gift of wisdom — She said something like “How can you ask me that? If I say I am Black, then I am denying my mother, if I say white, I deny my father.” One day the world will accept us for the beauty and talents each of us holds inside. And we can marvel at the variety of colors, features, hair textures of the human family without a need to pigeon-hole anyone. Meanwhile we each do our part to educate and witness by example. Thank you, Tigist!
Giorgis
hi i am full ethiopian both my parernt are full ethiopian and my brother but i am the only one in my family always questioned about my racial background when i got into high school people though i was biracial of black/white and in college it was more multiracial mixed of flippino and spanish and arab and chinesse
apperently i could pass for mixed asian or arab or spanish nobody says i am ethiopian even when my ethiopian friends introduces me to other ethiopian i am still looked at as if i am forigen which use to angner me but now i just laugh and see what i can pass for
my own family in ethiopia consider me white which to me is werid now it is funny
so i understand her delima
Hi
Very interesting information! Thanks!
G’night
Wow!! It is nice to know that I am not the only half Ethiopian to go through this!!
I do stand up comedy and I recently was asked what part of South America, Ethiopia was in after one of my shows. All because I was wearing a t-shirt my friend had made that said “La familia”. I was speechless. Are you serious?
Instead of taking it personally I say laugh it off. If you spend all of your time worrying about others’ ignorance, you have no time to live your life.
Tigist,your blog sounds like you are taking it personal. I dont think ou should avoild the question nor be over it. My understanding is that their question raises out of curiousity. Just put your self in their shoes. I am sure you would like to know his/her background ,when you hear an afro asian person with a light skin color speaks fluent amahrick ,-just for the sake of the conversation ,right?
take it wasy
Yor look is how all ehtiopians look when their half white half ethiopian they always look like a 100% white person
Selam, Tigist!
you should do what i do when ETs ask me dump questions. Just give them the look that says “i don’t play” and they usually take a step back.
some people say laugh it off. after 20 something yrs of the same thing I don’t know how much laughter you can get out of it. its very easy to notice a genuine curiosity but some of them are pure ignorant don’t allow it by not answering. you will see how the subject change
Wow, the responces to Tigist’s article are so interesting because they reveal their own understanding of being bi-racial in a country that is in complete denial towards it’s racist history. This of course includes the raping of Black women by white men during the African slave trade. Those comments on mixed race beauty are sad in that they are a white fetish being tought to other races. Now everyone thinks Alicia Keys is so hot because she is mixed? This is to say she is hot because she looks white but has Black features but not so much that it frightens white audiences. SAddder is that people of color fall into this way of thinking as well. It is not easy to live in this country and be a person of color because the system was not created with us in mind. So now we have individuals exoticising themselves by saying they are half italian, french, black, indian etc etc.. The dna does not make up a person’s identity only what they practice does. So next time someone says I’m half indian, puerto rican and black…that means the same thing because Puerto Rico is already a make up of these differences. Some one trying to be exotic or unique will easily “claim” these categories in order to fell superior or just different but to what advantage and whose benefit?
Do we perform for the white audience or for those in our own race so eager to taste the “mixed” look like a novelty? There are more people who don’t love themselves because they don’t have the proper examples in this country.
While these problems exist abroad they are more so pervasive here because this is the only country that was created exclusively to capitalize off the backs of Blacks by killing off Native Americans and deporting Mexicans from ther own land. So understanding these examples of exclusion/seperation one can begin to understand the make up of social value or there lack of one.
Don’t rest or settle with the idea that curiousity evolves into a deeper conversation or understanding when it comes to race. White people never ever speak of race or “other” races unless they want to address things in passing or as novelty. Why would you want to even consider telling them anything when they’ve had so much time to read or learn on their own. Why pander to their desires or wishes? This isn’t we are the world nor is it a rainbow country!
People are insensitive and ignorant this does not excuse them or mean they deserve a responce as much as why you should tolerate their pet curiousities.
One has to be critical when addressing these issues because they are not new and how to address them is hardly ever passed down because our parents are usually unprepared to teach us or share what they might not have needed to learn. What is important is that we pick up a book. Just like you would a book before taking a test otherwise you might just fail the test.
Well writtien and interesting read. I am still curious what Ethiopian ethnicity her mother is from.
This is a personal story of a beautiful and brilliant Ethiopian girl with diverse international background. Who cares about her mother’s ethnicity? She is an Ethiopian and above all, a wonderful human being.
tigist u don’t look ethiopian lol………u look weird and un ethiopian sorry to say that but it’s the truth …..make urself a bit clear are u saying that ur mixed with germany??
Thankfully the world is becoming more multiracial by the hour. The smaller the earth gets, the easier it is to meet people outside of one’s community. That’s a good thing, isn’t it?
There will always be some who are terrified by the prospect of ‘pure’ races becoming extinct, but there is no way for them to stop it, and there will come a time when ethnic combinations of all kinds will be even more commonplace.
Thank you, Tigist, for your insight into the – difficulties, shall we say? – that we humans often have with the unfamiliar. Yet I sense no bitterness in you, even a kind of amusement that I’m not sure I could muster.
History will show that few races are ‘pure’ by any stretch of the imagination (I refer to J.A. Rogers’ ‘Sex and Race’ volumes 1-3), so I’m not sure what is so difficult to get one’s head around in the first place.
At any rate, these things are certain: We are all ‘pure human,’and if we go back far enough, we all share a common ancestry. Let’s focus on what we have in common, for a change.
And Tigist, I don’t need to know anything about your heritage to see that you are absolutely gorgeous.
Peace
I’ve recently began to model, I never knew there was such need to put people into an “ethnic category “. I am Native American Indian and African American, because of my racial mix, I can’t book work for projects requesting black models. It’s as though this industry decides what looking black is. Perhaps there will be a day, when all of the labels won’t be significant. Perhaps one day we will only be judged on our character.
Intresting story but the truth is people dont look beyond what they see..I dont know if that will ever change… in america there is only blk and white. you know who and what you are !
Hey Tigist!…I just want to let you know first off that you’re a gorgeous young woman. Even though I’m Eritrean/Ethiopian myself, I have faced a great deal of questions concerning my ethnicity. I guess it’s because I don’t have your typical ” ethiopian face”, but I usually get phillipino and african-american, or haitian, dominican, and so many more. My brother isn’t at all mixed; but because of his pale skin, he gets it all the time. Once when he was in elementary school, the teacher filled out some form of his and answered that he was bi-racial. He has your complexion with jet black hair and black eyes. I do agree that it can get pretty annoying at times, especially when it’s on a day to day basis. I just wonder what my cousins are facing. I have cousins who are mixed with Eritrean/Ethiopian and Finland..Irish..Italian…and the list goes on. Stay beautiful konjit!…and hope to see you back home! ~XOXO~
“Killis, Killis, Killis!”
Hi Tigist, those words brought back some childhood memories. Back home I dreaded those words as kids in neighborhoods other than my own call me that. Also, they called me “green eyes, green eyes!”
I got over it and start embracing my difference when I was about 10 after someone told me that he would love to have eyes like mine and that I should be happy to have such beautiful eyes. Thanks for that, I did not mind the name calling after words and soon after it stopped.
I am light skinned, green eyed, and as a young boy red haired guy who happen to be 100% Ethiopian (Amhara/Ertrian), well at least my immediate family is. It has been over 20 years now, and ever since I moved to the US and am living in the Washington DC area. Still, Ethiopians don’t know I am one of them until I start talking to them in Amharic. Even then, they follow up by asking me if I am mixed, or where did I learn how to speak the language.
People from other countries always guess that I am from everywhere in the world, but Ethiopia. I have gotten Brazil, Morocco, Spanish, European/African mix, and Egypt. It doesn’t really bother me, but sometimes it can be tiring explaining myself, so I just agree whatever they tell me and move on.
When I was in Brazil few years back people keep talking to me in Portuguese thinking I was from there. When I was in Laos few months back, some people thought I was from there. When I travelled around Europe: Spain, France, Italy, they thought I was African/European mix. In Australia they thought I was mixed with aboriginals.
One thing I learned from my travel around the world has been that It is great to be able to blend in. It makes things a bit easier.
Anyhow I will stop now, but was great to read from others in similar boat.
Henock
Tigist,
what matters is what you say you are. b/c you know yourself better. if they except you one way or the other. who you are is who you are. and you know it and believe it. Like Beyonce is 25% black and there rest white and french. but she considers her self black. what what she is and what she belifes she is b/c SHE IS.
XOXOX
Selam.
Hi. I enjoyed your article. My husband sent it to me as he thought it would be a good read. He is Somali and I am African American. I am asked about my racial background almost everyday. Maybe I am not offended because both of my parents are of the same race. When I was about 8, I got tired of the kids calling me “oreo” and “half-breed” and other names, so my parents told me to respond “Yes, I am mixed, male and female”. LOL! After that, I just took it with a grain of salt. And yes, at times people will keep “pressing” for the answer they want because as someone mentioned earlier to just be African American and to look a certain way goes against every stereotype known to man! I am about the same complexion as Beyonce’s mom with the same kind of hair and eye color. She identifies as “mixed” or “creole”, but it is possible to look like that and have 2 black parents, 4 black grandparents, etc. Honestly, most people that are mixed go under my radar. It’s not such a phenomenon to me personally because the people in my family range in looks from what we typically think of as Arab to Hispanic to Creole to African American (black) to White. Again, no direct mixed parentage and we all identify as black.
Thanks for sharing,
Erica
I like your piece. It asks and answers the questions and feelings that some of us encounter on daily basis. I am Ethiopian, full Ethiopian that is both from my mothers and fathers side. But, We (my family and I) have fair skin (light skin). what amazes me is that it does not matter if you are mix or full blooded, if your skin color is a little different than those that are around you, you’ll be singled out. I remember going to Awasa and being called “Ferenj, Ferenj……” or kids following me and saying “You, you, you….” repeatedly as if i would not understand them if they speak to me in Amharic. I turn around and say to them “Be amharigna anagrugne lela quanqua aygebagnem.” They would be amazed and confused that I spoke Amharic, but they won’t believe their ears, so they keep on following me saying “you, you, you…” anyway, Ethiopians are people with different shades of black, and we should all be proud of that.
M.
Look Miss beauty… You are German, Ethiopian, American and a citizen of the world. I personally think We are all the same ( at higher level of consciousness)…irrespective of our difference due to the current social, political, religious, racial difference that we are struggling with due to either ignorance or stupidity. What matter most is … It doesnt matter what people think of you.. What matter is YOU
Hi Tigist,
Your color is very Ethiopian. I mean you look Ethiopian, if you you go to Ethiopia plenty people have is light complexion, especially in Addis Ababa, the capital city. I live in the U.S. and everywhere people ask me if I am Spanish, Indian but no body believe i;m from ethio .
PEOPLE!!!! DON’T GO ALONG WITH WHAT PEOPLE CALL YOU!!!!
DON’T DO IT.
of course as Habeshas, people try to guess our ethnicity and ask questions that to us seem silly, but that is the extent of some people’s ignorance.
I know it is hard! But please be patient with them when people ask
“how far is Ethiopia/Eritrea from Africa?”
take it as an oppurtunity to teach people something they would’ve never known.
Then one day they will say ” yes I met a very nice Ethiopian/Eritrean who told me all about their culture” and they will be able to speak about it a little bit becuase of what you explained to them.
Don’t be mad at people who don’t know, take it as a chance to teach them about the rich culture.
But when you do things like say ” yes I am Egyptian.” that may keep you from having to answer some questions, but it also keeps them ignorant.
Wow Tigist, you have described exactly how I have always felt. People give me bewildered looks when I tell them I’m half Ethiopian. Granted, my skin is almost the color of porcelain. Most of the time I usually get “But I thought Ethiopians were…black!”
I am very glad I found this post!
t’s like reading my life story here haha.
I am half ethiopian ad half czech and I experience the exact same thing!
The questions, the guesses everything haha.
I always get nods from middle eastern people and spanish individuals.
Hi TG
ENKUTATASH / happy Ethiopian new year/ you are beautful Ethiopian
thank u for sharing ur life story
Abiy from India
Tigist…
This caught my eye, especially the bit about Yohannes. I remember when he asked you that!
I might not be mixed but I understand fully; “You’re not black”… “You look Indian though?”… “I didn’t even know Ethiopia was in Africa”….
Hope you are well. Mum still thinks of you when the topic of vegetarians arise!
Lots of love,
Keffey.
Hallo Tigist:
Not only you but also a lot of tourists feel uneasy about this kind of entrusion particularly in northern ethiopia where the people are “less calmer” to use the turists own words. On the colour matter, ethiopians fancy white or fair colour to the point of adoration. This is not necessarily unique to ethiopian. However, ethiopians seem a bit obsessed with skin colour. They seem to read everything of a person from the colour of his/her skin. Take the people from Shoa have six categories of skin colour complexion. You are in africa where people can get very entrusive in to your privacy.
The same happended to me…in all my life.. I was born in ethiopia (Berodà – harer Region ) from an Ethiopian mother (from the Norten cuntry origin) and from an Italian father- They met each oter during some road & bridge constructions perdiod during teh 70thies..so I am old enough..
I left my birth land and moved at first to Rome then to the north -est of Italy- But the question was always the same: when I was in eTHIOPIA RURAL CHILDEN USED TO CALL ME IN DIFFERNT WAY DPENDING FROM THE TIME : TALIYAN. cBA, RSISINA & IN GENRAL FERNJI-
In Italy at first sight they take me as a southern Italian; then they used to call me as a : Argentinian, brazilian and in general mediterranean blood person- But never, no one used to guess what my origin is -
I any case I feel : 100% ethiopian and 100% italian even if most of my life I spenti it in Italy- If I do not explain nothing of my life, everybody looks me lihe a southern italian person; but suddendly if I explain them mu origine of : ethiopian woman and italian man- It seems that the only fact that counts,d epending on the country I am is – the other/oppiste par t of me in rekation of the place where I am . The only difference is that: when I am in Ethiopia in any case I am respected for what I am-; on the other side in Italy, as soon as I say my birth place , immediately tehir mind go to the stertipic sighe of Ethiopia: famine, death and povery- No matter my origin is in real life…
So, in any case, I will nevery forget my holy home land Ethiopia (nice and still pure country with along & century long culture) and my at the same time beloved country of my father Italy- my relatives in both countries are rich in culture, tradition, history
I know HOW U FEEL! I have gone through being annoyed of people asking me where I’m from. Others time I feel unique and I sometimes like people guessing–in a way. I am straight up pointy nose- light-skinned- poofy wavy haired Ethiopian. I often get stared at for several minutes until the person comes up with an uncertain answer. Like when I was at a buffet- this person was just staring and staring until they said- Are you mixed? Wait no– Indian/Mexican? Or are you black or Egyptian?ONCE someone guessed Dominican republic mixed with Asian. I just chuckle and say- I am Ethiopian. By the way- my aunt is German and is married to my Ethiopian uncle.
Maybe they’ll have a Ethiopian-German baby!